If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
