so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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