If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize