RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
