We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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