So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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