Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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