brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
