Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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