I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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