what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
