You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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