Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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