Nicole vs. Life
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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