he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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