Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
