No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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