Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
