I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
