I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
