I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
