I think I died a long time ago.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
