Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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