my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
