I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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