If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
