I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Blow job season was short but glorious.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
