Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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