The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
