can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
