I am puke
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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