I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
