it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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