I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
