her facebook's as public as her vagina
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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