Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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