i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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