How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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