I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
