Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No subtext here. People are naked.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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