I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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