You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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