Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
