dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
