We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
