Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
