Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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