She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
