Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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