is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
