my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize