its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
