If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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