So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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