i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize