For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
