so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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