Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize