WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So many bounce houses so little time
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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