i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
