I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Houston, we have a squirter
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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