i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize