wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
