she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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