When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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