You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
