3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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